I feel like too often I forget that blogging is freedom. I get in the groove of writing for other purposes (i.e. school, show prep, etc.) and feel like my blogs need to be well-structured and polished and all that jazz. Well, here's to breaking rules and doing my own thing. And just because, let's abandon caps for the rest of this post. because i can.
some perspective on the moment: right now i'm sitting in an empty dorm room in a very empty dorm hall. in the middle of fall break. what? yeah i know, that's weird. i'm actually getting up at the crack of dawn (or earlier) to leave for washington d.c. that's weird too. i don't really know many of the people that are going, so this should be an adventure. hip hip hooray for breaking out of comfort zones. haha!
God is good (okay, he gets caps 'cause he freakin' deserves it). even when i shove him to the side (which, sadly, is far too often what happens) he loves me. JESUS LOVES ME. if that doesn't make my heart feel warm and fuzzy, i dunno what will. and he has a way of doing God things. those are really special things that only he could construct and only he could throw together.
i've been reminded lately that God is in the business of doing God things. (no kidding, right?) he is faithful again and again. even when we think we know what we're doing, God has a way of blowing our minds and preparing the way before us, taking us on adventures we never thought possible.
example: the fact that i'm sitting at mvnu right now. that wasn't in my plan, i didn't see that coming. despite the fact that i'm sitting here lonely in my room tonight, i am thankful to be in this place. i'm thankful for God's guidance in showing me incredibly clearly that this is where he wanted me to be. he quickly revealed that i wasn't headed in the right direction, that this would be so much better for me than my previous plans. and now here i am. his plans are so much better than mine. and thank you Jesus, he was right on. God thing.
another? i've been born into the most loving, close-knit family i can imagine. do we drive each other nuts sometimes? yes. would we trade each other for anything? no. and it's not just my parents and my brother i'm talking about. Godly grandparents. aunts and uncles that love me like children. cousins that keep in touch with me and love me from hundreds and thousands of miles away. memories of family trips, get-togethers, and lessons learned from the people i grew up around. (i feel another post about my admiration and thankfulness for my extended family brewing within...) i could have been born into so many other families under so many other circumstances... what a God thing that i have been blessed with the opportunity to grow up surrounded by a community of faith and family, a blessing that so many others haven't gotten to experience. ah yes, God thing.
then there's this six-foot-seven bundle of blessings. yeah, i didn't see that one coming, that's for sure. that one day i walked into hoch's classroom as a sophomore in high school and first saw the then-college-freshman observing the history teacher... i didn't expect to fall in love with him. God obviously had other plans. the tall basketball star i'd grown up watching play countless games as a young teenage girl turned into my best friend. so many details only God could orchestrate. so many other dreams of mine were swept away, overcome by an ocean wave of something better than i could have ever imagined. thank the good Lord that he knew what he was doing. every day i can't help but simply be amazed and thank God for the most loving, compassionate, selfless Christ-like man i am blessed to have in my life. noah? yeah. definitely a God thing.
you wanna know the biggest one? there's this thing called grace. it doesn't make much sense, especially to people who love logic. i like logic. but this defies logic. God's perfect. i'm the farthest thing from perfect. i'm pathetic. that's no exaggeration. i don't add up to anything but filthy rags. but you know what? God loves me anyway. God sent his son to die in my place. like... whoa. that's intense. i love love. i love to love people. the people that i love, i love like crazy. would i die for them? that's a good question. i'd like that answer to be yes. but it's a hard question. you know what's crazy? God loves me that much. Jesus did that for me. that's not normal. that's freakin awesome. FREAKIN AWESOME. this perfect guy died for me because he loves me. he did that for you too. that's how crazy much he loves us. let that sink in for a minute. even when I try to run away, or rely on myself, or choose my ways, he still loves me. and his ways are still better. he's still working out God things. everyday. thank God for grace. thank God for love. thank God for God things.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
PS — this is a new song that I love... you should check it out.
